Oldies.

Shower epiphany #2:

I'm starting to think that maybe these songs and stories and movie scripts and books that are written... we don't know when we write them that they're going to affect someone. We don't know that they are going to change a life or perfectly describe some aspect of someone's life; we just write it out. We just write what we're feeling. Sometimes the result is a true account of our lives or feelings at the moment and sometimes it's just inspired from our lives, but regardless, we write it out because that's what we do. I never would have guessed that my own written words would have come so full circle to even make wonderful sense in my own life.

I can think of two songs I've written off the top of my head that would describe either occurrences and/or realizations in my own life or the life of a friend. Pulling some stuff out the archives, I offer examples:

"No good reason for me to be depressed. Look at all I've got, yeah I know that I'm so blessed. So why is my heart a little greyer today? Acting like everything's fine, I shake it off and say, 'You know it must be from a bad night's sleep,' knowing it's because of that stupid boy taking over my dreams. I say, 'all I need is time, my friend, and I'll be just fine,' knowing so well that I'm such a mess inside. Oh how it starts to burn, when you're living off these lies.

Not everything in love has to go as planned and you know that now. Yeah you know somehow that you're right on this time. He is the one- that you're sending this rhyme out to. And you just look at him and say, 'You know that it's always been you.'

Let it be me-Let me be the one who makes the sun rise.

It can be me-I'll do anything just to see you one more time.

And you're praying on the inside, and crying on the out,

Knowing in your heart, without a single doubt that it's always been you... who was there for me. And it's always been you, who helped me up to my feet. You know it's always been and it will always be you... just you and me."

I would like to point out that I wrote that when I was like 12-ish, maybe 13 or 14... and now it's kinda coming back to be relevant in lives of people I'm close to. REdiculous.

And much more recently, a song only inspired by my life seemingly ringing true... who would have thought?

I was so stupid, so incredibly naive,

What in the world ever caused me to believe:

That this one was different,

And it’s okay you made me cry??

Still had to tell you what I was killing me inside.

So I’m writing you a letter I know I’ll never send

Writing you the same words again and again:

I love you baby,

Why’d you have to go?

What did I do to make you leave me all alone?

We were the envy of all of our friends,

Thought we’d get married, be happy in the end.

But you left and started living

A life without me,

All you had to do was say the word, and I would've set you free.

Now I’m writing you a letter I’m never gonna send

Writing you the same words again and again:

I love you baby,

Why’d you have to go?

What did I do to make you leave me all alone?

You were chasing bigger dreams than this place would allow,

Guess you needed to get out, well it’s my turn now.

Maybe I’ll see you

Down the road someday

Maybe if I’m lucky, this’ll make sense someday. / (Maybe by then, you’ll see your mistake)

But I’m done writing letters I’m never gonna send

Done writing you the same words over and over and over again.

But I still love you baby,

Don’t know why you had to go.

Don’t you see I’m scared to death of being on my own?

It’s the thought of life without you; how my world is gonna change.

It’s all the what-if’s, all the promises we’ll break.

It’s the fear that I feel

When I look to the sky

Knowing you’re not with me and wondering...

I’m still wondering why.

You promised me forever,

You swore I’d be a part of your life,

But here we are, baby, worlds away

And now there’s nothing left between us but time

Nothing left to say but goodbye

Bye bye baby, goodbye.

So maybe I'm making headway on this whole- is it real? Has it ever been? Will it ever be thing? .... I forgot about inspiration... sometimes we feel what we feel to get to someone else; to put into words what they didn't even know they were feeling... sometimes we even do that for ourselves...

Hmm... always more to think about.