I am tired in a way that sleep can't fix. I am mentally exhausted. I am emotionally drained. My brain is fried. And I am tired.
I have done this to myself and life has done this to me. I have put myself in positions to stress out probably more than I need to and now, regardless of how I got there, I am in a place where there is little to no sanctuary.
Everywhere I look or try to turn, there is something new, something else for me to handle, to think about, to fix. And I'm so tired.
Even the things I find comfort in, or did, are now wearing me thin and are the very reason I cannot move, paralyzed by their absence.
This only leads me to beat myself up for becoming this; for letting myself get this way, for inviting myself to get this way...
And I'm tired of fighting and defending at the same time. Constants battles within self are more exhausting than fighting someone else.
I hate that I feel this way and I hate that I have become this desperate, internally crazed person... hating myself for caring this much and letting that take over everything else.
I am so tired.
And all I want is to lie next to you and not sleep a wink, memorizing every moment, every breath, every second that we have left.
I'm tired of feeling so much and for thinking I can out think that or talk myself down from it.
