about how it's unfair, and how we make choices, and why we want things at all....
and how we put ourselves through hell for these goals and people and ideals we think are important....
and I just don't get it. Because it rarely works out... and when we finally find our happily ever after, most of us end up settled for "okay" because we've already been hurt and damaged and we come out the other side so jaded, so desperate for anyone and anything to be decent that we jump on it as soon as decent comes around...
We stop dreaming. We stop wishing.......
.....because those are things that got our hopes up and ended up hurting us and letting us down over and over again in the first place.......
I don't get it. I don't know why we all think we're the exception......... we are the rule. We are the sad, the pathetic, the lonely and the settling........ we are the majority... and we are the rule.... and though we may settle and live and call our lives happy, we are alone... perpetually lonely and forever knowing that the things we dreamed of ... the things we would have given everything for.... are still out there, being owned and lived and realized without us......
I don't understand how we're supposed to live with that.... and I don't understand why we set ourselves up and let our kids and friends set themselves up for that....
maybe we forget. maybe it gets easier over time... and maybe we hope it'll be different for someone else; better for everyone else.... maybe we think we're the exception on that side of reality too......
I don't know and I don't understand.... and I don't know how to stop dreaming or wanting or wishing for things I logically know I won't get......
There is SO MUCH I will never understand....
and if growing up is growing out of these dreams and desires and thinking that it can all work out for me....... just call me Peter Pan.
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